How to Buy an Engagement Ring Online

Last updated on April 24, 2023

Our product recommendations are made independently, but we may earn affiliate commissions if you use a link on this page.

When you have found that one that you know you want to spend the rest of your life with, it is one of the greatest experiences in life. They are perfect for you and you hope that you are perfect for them. You wish you could give them the world and you would if it was possible.

First things first, though. You want to make things official, you want them to know how important they are and that you want to make a lifelong commitment and this means marriage. You are going to have to pop the question as the saying goes and you will probably need an engagement ring to make that happen.

In this article we are going to look at what it takes to get the perfect engagement ring online. The reasons we are focusing online is because for various reasons in the world we live in today this is an easy and more financially responsible way to get a great quality engagement ring.

Why Buy Online?

Purchasing an engagement ring online, especially if it is intended to be used for a surprise proposal, is by far the most sensible way to go. There are obviously other options such as a jewelry store or a wholesale diamond merchant but these can pose challenges and end up costing you money that could be better spent on a higher quality ring.

Jewelry Stores

Brick-and-mortar jewelry stores are one of the two ways that this kind of purchase has always been made. There is of course a certain romance to buying jewelry in an actual store but unless your partner is on the impending proposal it is not as important.

As with all things in life you will find both pros and cons for choosing this method which you really will want to weigh up.

As we say there is something romantic about shopping in an actual jewelers for a diamond engagement ring. It is obviously a more tactile and immediate experience. This may be worth all of the potential cons to some people but not of course to everyone.

It is hard to comparison shop in an actual jeweler's store and you will be under a certain level of time constraints. The salespeople may be working on commission so they may tend to be pushy in their attempts to make a sale.

One final factor to consider is that there is a difference between a large chain jewelers and a mom-and-pop store. You may get cheaper prices at the big chain store but the diamonds may not have the same quality. You will almost certainly get better customer service if there are issues from a more independent jeweler.

So if you are set on going with the physical jewelry store option, keep it local and independent. If you go with a chain store you may as well shop online.

Diamond Wholesalers

These are few and far between but you can find them in a number of major cities such as Los Angeles, Chicago and Philadelphia. The big wholesale diamond district however is in New York city. Known as the New York City diamond district it is located on West 47^th between 5^th and 6^th Avenues.

It has the largest concentration of wholesale diamond merchants in the US much larger than the ones found in other cities. They generally sell to the retail jewelry stores for the most part but are often willing to sell to the average Joe off the street as long as their money is real.

This is not the most convenient method for buying diamonds unless you happen to live in a city that has a wholesale diamond district. It does give you the chance to get cheaper diamonds but it is a more clinical buying experience so the romance of buying in person is lost.

These wholesalers usually sell to retail jewelers so they do not need to try and blind their customers with pomp and finery, it's purely transactional. So no velvet pillows, small talk and cups of coffee.

Online Purchasing

There are plenty of quality well respected online jewelers out there such as James Allen, Blue Nile and Brilliant Earth. They have gotten online diamond ring sales down to a fine art and sell thousands daily with countless happy customers to attest to their validity as a dealer.

This is by far the most convenient and potentially cheapest way to buy a diamond as you can do it from the comfort of your couch. You can compare hundreds of diamonds and search based on your specific requirements and your budget.

You can shop without feeling rushed or steered by a salesperson toward certain higher priced options. You do however lose that certain romantic diamond shopping experience because although they have attractive elegant looking websites they don’t have the pomp and circumstance of a physical jeweler's store.

How Do You Pick the Right Engagement Ring?

This is the big question because you want it to be perfect, something that they will love and treasure. I won’t lie, this is a tremendously difficult task especially if you are flying solo on the purchase. If you are both at the same point in your thinking you may have already discussed engagement rings and this would be a bonus.

Ideally shopping for the ring together ensures you get the perfect piece but if you have your heart set on a surprise proposal you will need to play the spy a little bit. The important thing is to establish what kinds of things your partner likes.

If you can't just ask outright you need to manufacture a situation where you can covertly pick their brains about their preferences. A good way to do this is to get them to come with you to a jeweler under the pretense of looking at watches.

There will be engagement rings on display so try and steer towards them and jokingly ask what they think about them. Perhaps comment about one looking impressive most importantly try not to make it seem like a big deal.

Take note of anything they say about certain rings as this may give you some big clues you can use later on. Important clues may include:

• Do they like gold, platinum or silver? They may have a precious metal allergy so knowing this is also important.
• Are they interested in the single diamond rings or do the more ornate ones seem to catch their eye?
• Do they express a like for a certain shape of diamond?
• Do they mention liking a different gemstone rather than diamonds?
• Do they express views of ethical diamond mining such as supporting conflict-free diamonds?

These are all important little pieces of information that can help you crack the code for the perfect surprise engagement ring.

If this all sounds a little difficult and like they might be too smart to be tricked like this you do have another option. A good spy develops sources and hopefully you have become close with her friends and family.

Choose someone you feel will be happy about the idea of you marrying their friend or family member and who you think will help you gather information without letting on. You may be surprised to find how many people will jump at the chance to play secret agent.

Have them talk about things like engagement rings with them because they can broach the subject of what the person likes without raising suspicion. It's a normal chit chat conversation between family and friends.

Finding Out Their Ring Size

Some people are daunted by the concept of measuring for rings as it may seem a little complicated. The truth is that it really is not that difficult to do at all as long as you are patient. This is something that can be done easily at home with a tape measure. Pieces of string or even a length of dental floss.

Obviously if you are trying to find out someone else’s ring size that is a little tricker especially if you can’t just ask them outright. It may take some more covert activity on your part to get the measurement but in theory the actual measurement is simple.

Use a Tape Measure:

The easiest method to measure a fingers circumference is using a flexible tape measure so not one of those rigid retractable ones. You will want something that may be used for crafts such as crochet. These will easily wrap around a finger to give an accurate measurement.

These tapes usually come with inches written on one side of the tape and metric measurement units in the form of centimeters and millimeters on the other. It is millimeters that you are going to need because inches and centimeters are not refined enough to get an accurate reading.

You simply wrap the tape measure around the area of the finger which you need the circumference measurement from with the millimeter measurement side facing out. Where the tape measure meets itself again will dictate how many millimeters in circumference the finger is. You may have to do this when they are asleep so it will take some delicacy.

Use String or Dental Floss:

Sometimes you have to improvise a little especially if you do not have a flexible tape measure handy which of course not everyone does. You can achieve the same measurement results however with a piece of string or dental floss. The only difference being that you will add a step to the process.

This is a simple method whereby you wrap the string or dental floss around the thickest part of the finger firmly but not pull tight. You will then either mark or cut the string at the point that it loops round and meets itself again. This will allow you at a later time to compare the length of the string or dental floss to a tape measure. Again you will have to try and pull this off when your partner is sleeping.

You Can Use a Ring Sizing Tool

Rings are a common thing so it is not in the least bit surprising that there is an actual ring sizing tool. Jewelers use these to measure customers for rings and the average person can also buy one online relatively cheaply. If you want a free tool then you can print and cut one out from an online template.

There are a few different types including ones that are essentially tape measures but with a twist and ones that literally have a series of sized metal loops which can be used to test sizes. The metal loop tool however may not be very subtle as it may tend to jingle a little bit.

Whichever sizing tool you choose it will likely come with instructions. If you choose the print out option be aware that they are a little more flimsy and tend to tear. As a result you may want to print out more than one just in case the first one rips while measuring.

Measure Another Ring

This would be the ideal scenario in terms of a convert ring size finding mission as it does not directly require the presence of the person. If they have a ring that they already wear on the finger in question or do so occasionally you can try getting a measurement from that.

This is going to require a little bit of math so bear with us while we explain. You will not be able to get a circumference measurement from the inside of a ring. This is just too tricky, it's not going to work like that. What you can do is measure the diameter of the inside of the ring.

You will measure the distance between the inside edge of one side of the ring across to the other inside edge. This will give you the ring's diameter and you now have all you need for a simple equation. Using the below formula you can determine the circumference of the ring,

Circumference = π x Diameter (π = 3.14159)

So as an example if the diameter is 11 millimeters this would be (16 x 3.14159 = 50.26). This would indicate a ring size between 5.25 and 5.5 in the US sizing guide. You will always want to go for the bigger size in order to avoid the ring being too tight or not fitting on the finger.

The obvious drawback of this method is that things like engagement rings are traditionally worn on a specific finger so most people will not just wear a ring on that finger unless they are engaged. Potentially there may not be a ring to measure.

It is important to remember that even though the person may have a ring on the same finger on the opposite hand they may not have the same size. It may be a close match but it could equally be much larger or smaller than its counterpart on the other hand.

Fixing a Budget

Time for a little trade secret, have you heard that an engagement ring should cost at least 2 months salary? You may think this is some age-old tradition steeped in mystery but there is no mystery. Jewelers actually created an ad campaign that featured this statistic and they completely made it up themselves. It has now become so commonplace that it is viewed as a traditional fact.

In truth there is no significant tradition that says you need to spend 2 months salary on the ring. If you have to spend less that is completely fine and if you choose to spend more that is also just fine as well.

There are rings out there to match all budgets and we need to get beyond the mentality that we have to prove love by spending more money than we can afford. A conservatively priced ring can be updated at a later date when times are not so hard.

In the here and now what matters is that they like the ring and that they feel the same way as you do regarding wanting to be together forever. So set yourself a limit with the understanding that there are so many options out there you will have no difficulty finding the perfect ring.

Choosing the Right Ring

When it comes to engagement rings there are two main factors to consider, the setting and the diamond. Each has factors that affect the price so understanding these is important.

The Four C’s

When it comes to determining the value of a diamond experts factor in what is known as the four C’s which stands for carat, cut, clarity and color. These are essentially the main legitimate variables that dealers consider. The four C’s of a diamond are graded by an independent third-party gemology lab. These labs have no skin in the actual trading of the diamonds so should not have any reason to inflate a diamond's worth.

The top three Gemology Labs in the US are:

Gemological Institute of America (GIA)

International Gemological Institute (IGI)

American Gemological Society (AGS)

1 Carat

You may have heard of the term carat before when it comes to jewelry often in terms of gold, for example 24 carat gold. But what exactly is meant by the term carat? Well essentially it is a term that is related to weight.

Diamonds are not only very hard but they are also extremely dense due their close packed crystalline structure. In modern terms a carat in weight terms is equal to 0.2 grams roughly the weight of a paperclip.

Using specially designed scales the gemology labs will weigh the diamond once fully cut and prepared to get a result in grams. By dividing the actual weight of the diamond by 0.2 you will get the carat weight of the item.

As an example a diamond weighing 0.6 grams would be considered a 3 carat piece. This would be considered a large diamond compared to what you would ordinarily find in a ring as they tend to range between 1 – 1.9 carats in weight.

The carat weight is not factored in until all of the other four C’s have been determined as it is only the weight of a finished diamond that matters. Raw diamonds need to be cut and the material removed is often discarded for being of little value.

Obviously the heavier the diamond the more valuable it is due to the fact that large diamonds are rarer. The largest diamond ever found was the Cullinan diamond which was unearthed in South Africa in 1905. The raw diamond weighed 3,106 metric carats and was painstakingly cut into nine large gemstones as well as 97 brilliants and a number of other small unpolished fragments.

2 Clarity

If you are new to the world of diamonds you may not have heard the term clarity before but this is an important aspect when it comes to determining the value of a diamond. As the name suggests clarity refers to the transparency and purity of an item.

All diamonds have imperfections which are often referred to as inclusions or flaws. They may be specks, areas of cloudiness or signs of feathering. Gemologists will look closely into the body of the diamond looking for these imperfections.

The better the clarity of the diamond the more valuable it is. So if the experts are seeing few imperfections then the value of the gem is going to be higher but the more issues that are visible the more the price will drop.

The diamond clarity scale according to the GIA is as follows:

3 Color

In general terms for a high quality diamond experts will be looking for what is known as a white diamond. This is a diamond that is as close to completely transparent as possible. Almost all diamonds have at least some coloration if only a little yellowing.

This does not mean that colorful diamonds have no value because in fact they still do. Variations of colors in diamonds are very normal and all will have some value. Colored diamonds are referred to as fancy diamonds and will generally be cheaper.

There is an exception however as fancy blue and fancy red diamonds are both exceptionally rare which makes them more sought after. This is why certain shades of these colors can be very expensive indeed.

According to the GIA there are 23 color grades for white diamonds which are labeled using letters. The grading is as follows:

D-F: colorless

G-J: near colorless

K-M: faint

N-R: very light

S-Z: light

4 Cut

This final C refers to an aspect of the diamond which is in the hands of the person who worked the raw diamond. Now often people confuse this with the specific shape the diamond is cut to such as the princess, cushion or heart cuts. This is not the case when it comes to the value of the piece.

What cut actually refers to is how well the craftsperson did at cutting the diamond into its final shape. How they took the rough diamond and cut it into the gemstone that is now intended for sale.

When diamonds come out of the mines they look like little rocks still encrusted with the material they were found in. The craftsperson will use the expertise to strike the diamond along planes of cleavage to remove unusable materials and expose the gem.

Experts will judge how well the craftsperson has done in terms of making the diamond proportional, symmetrical and pleasingly shaped. The intent is to maximize the fire, sparkle and brilliance of the gem.

The quality of the cut then is measured by 5 grades which according to the GIA are Poor, Fair. Good, Very Good and Excellent. Quite obviously the better the cut rating the more valuable the diamond will be.

Settings

Even though your diamond or diamonds will be the focal point of the engagement ring it is important to establish first what setting you will be getting. It is key to the aesthetic of the completed piece and may inspire the size and shape of the diamond you ultimately purchase.

You can choose a simple setting which draws the focus to that sparkly beautiful diamond or you can choose to go a little more ornate with decorative metal work and settings for additional gems. These two options have their own benefits but both can be tremendously attractive.

Solitaire Settings

You may have heard the term solitaire but not know what it means when it comes to a ring setting. Quite simply it refers to there being just one single diamond set into the ring. This allows for the more inexpensive setting options generally starting in the $250 range and up.

The best material for a basic solitaire setting is 14K gold as not only is it striking to look at but also conservatively priced and durable. Lesser gold such as 10K can look drab and really ruin the look of a ring setting.

Now you might imagine that 18K gold would be even better but in truth the two do not differ greatly in appearance but the 18K is softer so more easily damaged. It will also be more expensive so really in terms of quality and value a 14K gold setting is a perfect option for a solitaire diamond ring.

Decorative Settings

Some people may wish to try and accentuate the beauty of the diamond by using a more complex setting such as pave and side-stone. There is a huge variety of setting options out there and you can find them on jeweler websites like James Allen, Brilliant Earth and Blue Nile.

You can search through and save some of your favorites as you go, allowing you to narrow down your options later. If you are trying to stick to a budget you may find the decision easy but if you have more to spend you may be more particular and take longer over your final decision.

You can find settings with ornately patterned metal work and even find ones with space to add smaller diamonds or other gemstones. Your personal taste and creativity can lead you to building something truly breathtaking.

How to Buy an Engagement Ring Online

As we have established it can be much easier to buy an engagement ring online and can actually save you money over other options. One big bonus is that the major websites like James Allen, Brilliant Earth and Blue Nile have engagement ring builder tools.

Using these tools you can use all the things you have learned about your partner's preferences to find the perfect diamond and a beautiful setting. You can use sliding tools to look for the ideal diamond for the right price and of the desired quality and shape.

You can take your time building the ring and fitting it to your budget. Once you finally feel that it is ready you can simply complete the process, buy it, have it made and then shipped to you. No pushy salespeople, no trawling around jewelers; it can all be done from your home.

Consider a Second-Hand Ring

The term second hand may not seem very nice when it comes to something as important as an engagement ring so let's call these vintage engagement rings. In an ideal world you have inherited an engagement ring used by an ancestor which comes with a beautiful back story of successful marriage.

Honestly though there is nothing wrong with a pre-owned engagement ring as long as it is in good shape and is beautiful. The sad truth is pawn shops nationwide have old engagement rings in their inventory and they will be selling for far less than you could buy a new one.

Going this route will require you ro learn a bit about recognizing jewelry, especially being able to spot if a diamond is real or not.

Final Thoughts

If you are looking to create the perfect marriage proposal it takes some planning especially when it comes to the engagement ring. You may need to do some covert fact finding and sneaking around but with perseverance you can potentially find that perfect ring online.

Reference Diamond Size Chart

If you use any of the definitions, information, or data presented on Diamond Size Chart, please copy the link or reference below to properly credit us as the reference source. Thank you!