How Much Should You Spend on an Engagement Ring?

Last updated on April 24, 2023

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There are a lot of considerations surrounding making a marriage proposal. Obviously there is the decision to make the proposal but then there are also important decisions like how will you ask and how much are you going to spend on the all important engagement ring.

A very common belief is that you should spend at least a quarter of your annual salary or three months wages on the engagement ring. The idea being that this is the ultimate way to prove how much you love your potential future spouse. Is this amount accurate? Should you spend more or can you pay a little less? In this article we will seek to answer this question for you.

How Much Should You Spend on an Engagement Ring?

Depending on who you ask you may be told one month, two month's or three month's salary are the expected ranges to spend on an engagement ring. This may be a terrifying concept especially for those early in their careers who are not yet making much money.

We have been led to believe by society that we must spend thousands on an engagement ring or else we are being cheap. In truth you should spend as much or as little as you can afford because ultimately this is a token of love and commitment not how much you value someone.

People are getting married later and later these days but for those who do marry young they often have limited funds. Spending almost a quarter of what they make in a year for a ring just is not feasible and they should not be made to feel bad about not being able to do that.

Of course a proposal is supposed to be memorable but it can be made so without the need of a gawdy overpriced engagement ring. Placing yourself in financial hardship to get a more expensive ring just does not make sense especially when the wedding itself will be expensive as will starting your life together afterwards.

It may seem unromantic to consider setting a budget for an engagement ring but the last thing you want to be doing is paying off the ring years into your marriage. This just does not make financial sense at all especially when you consider you can create beautiful engagement rings that will not financially cripple you.

How Much Are People Spending on Engagement Rings?

According to a 2022 study by CreditDonkey most couples are looking to spend between $1000 - $5000 on engagement rings. As you might imagine recent global events have led to a drop in what people are willing to spend and this is very understandable.

It is perfectly acceptable to spend less than a month's salary on a ring because ultimately this isn’t about proving how rich you are or how great a provider you are. This is a symbol of love and commitment and as long as you can get a ring that looks good and fits their tastes that is what is most important.

Consumer Manipulation

I wonder if you can guess where the concept of spending several month's salary on an engagement ring came from? Is it some mystical societal history reasoning that marks you as a provider for your family? Actually no, it is not. In fact this tradition is not really that old.

This may or may not surprise you but the first people to think you should be spending a minimum amount of your income on an engagement ring may have been a little biased. We are talking about the DeBeers diamond company.

Way back in the 1930s during the great depression diamond sales were dropping for obvious reasons so companies like DeBeers were panicking. They hit the ad campaigns hard to elevate the perception of diamonds and urge people to spend money on this luxury product.

They started by throwing out ads featuring movie stars draped in diamonds to help build up the profile and allure of diamonds. This really kicked off the tradition for almost all engagement rings to have a diamond.

This wasn’t enough for DeBeers though because people may be buying diamonds for engagement rings but they would still be getting what they can afford. This is why they decided to start an ad campaign that suggested you should spend at least 1 month's salary on the engagement ring to prove you truly love the person.

In the 1980s their campaign upped this to two month's salary and these days the standard is set at three months. To say this tradition is manipulated by the diamond industry itself would be to understate the situation.

So just to be clear, the origin of spending a certain part of your salary on an engagement ring comes from the very people who want to sell you the diamonds that go in the engagement rings. When you stop to think about that perhaps you may be being manipulated.

We are told that not spending enough on the ring makes us look cheap and like a poor choice as a spouse. Well I am here to tell you overextending your finances for a single item that although meaningful will not bring value to your marriage is a mistake.

If your potential spouse would rather see you take on debt to buy them a super expensive engagement ring than think of your shared financial future this may not be a good sign. The most important aspect of this process is that you are asking the person you love most in this world to commit to you forever.

How Do You Know How Much You Can Afford for a Ring?

Some people may have a lot of expendable income or savings so money may not be a concern and they can choose to spend as much as they want on the ring. This is great and more powerful to them for having that ability but it still doesn’t prove they are more in love than anyone else.

For those who do not have savings, or a vast quantity of expendable income there is more to consider when it comes to setting how much you are going to spend on the engagement ring. You have to look at your finances and determine how much money you can save over the span of a few months.

You can of course cut back on personal luxuries to save a little more but basically speaking after paying all your essential bills and meeting your personal needs whatever is left can be saved to buy the ring. It may take a few months or even years to get as much as you would like to spend but there is nothing wrong with that.

Now I know sometimes people get caught up in a relationship and find themselves weeks or months in and already convinced that this is the right person and they must propose right now. I love that, it's awesome but please be smart about this . Consider trying to wait until you can save a few months' money for the ring or try and find a bargain knowing that you can often upgrade a ring at a later date.

My strongest piece of advice is always going to be to not go into thousands in debt for an engagement ring. The brutal honesty of life these days is that there are without question people out there still paying off engagement rings from a marriage that ended years ago. I know that’s a gross thought but just trying to be honest here.

How To Get a Quality Engagement Ring On a Budget

Trying to stick to a budget does not make you cheap or an uncaring person, let's just make that clear. I think it's pretty clear in life that being able to splash the cash around does not make you a better person by any stretch of the imagination.

If someone has millions in the bank and they donate $10 to a charity this is nothing to them, they won't miss that money and they certainly will not suffer its loss. If another person comes along with just two $10 bills to their name and they give one of them to charity that sacrifice is hugely significant.

The point I am trying to make is that you can spend what you can afford and the significance of the ring remains the same. Therefore, let's help you find some ways to make the most of what you can spend.

Family Heirlooms

One fantastic quality about diamond rings is that as the saying goes “Diamonds are Forever” (also a DeBeers slogan by the way). This means a beautiful engagement ring can often be passed down as a family heirloom.

If you are fortunate enough to be allowed to potentially use a ring that your mother or grandmother may have originally worn this may be fantastic. Being able to use a ring that has a family history can be in many ways super romantic.

However it should be noted that when you marry someone you are going to be melding family traditions. Therefore they are perfectly within their rights to not want a ring owned by someone else already. You may feel this is being ungrateful but sometimes people want something that was intended only for them and that is fine.

In order to avoid an awkward situation regarding using a family heirloom it is wise to mention the heirloom to the person before you propose. Let them see it and try and gauge their opinion on potentially being presented with it one day.

Many people will be happy with a beautiful vintage ring with a proven track record of long marriage in its history. So if you can use a family heirloom for the proposal it may cost you nothing save perhaps a ring resizing fee with a jeweler.

Estate Rings

Not everyone has family jewelry that they may inherit but this does not mean that purchasing a vintage engagement ring is not an option. There are plenty of so-called estate rings out there that can be purchased from a variety of sources.

These rings will tend to be far less expensive than a brand new ring and they have history behind them which may or may not appeal to your potential future spouse. This again comes back to knowing what they like.

Sometimes an estate engagement ring is a great choice for people who love vintage styles. If they prefer modern settings you can still buy a vintage diamond and potentially have a jeweler set it into a modern setting.

I do want to throw out a little warning here by mentioning that older diamonds are less likely to be conflict-free. If you don’t know what that means, allow me to quickly explain. You see the diamond industry has a rough history when it comes to its human rights reputation.

In Africa for example for decades warlords used the proceeds of diamond mining to fund their brutal civil wars. Those working in the mines were treated poorly and in some cases were even slave labor. The term blood diamond was coined to refer to such situations.

This problem does still exist today but it is getting better and the major diamond retailers only deal in conflict-free diamonds. If your potential spouse is very socially responsible and a big supporter of human rights, getting them a vintage diamond may not be the best move. There is no way of knowing where that ring came from and the conditions under which it was mined.

It Doesn’t Have to Be a Diamond

Just because in the 1930s the DeBeers company successfully turned a tradition formerly reserved for the very rich into a mainstream belief does not mean we have to follow it. Some people don’t like diamonds or are against them for their jaded history regarding human rights.

Therefore the gemstone in your ring does not have to be a diamond, it could be some other precious gem or even a birthstone. We should point out that the birthstone for April is diamond but that’s still 11 other options for people not born in that month.

Again we come to know our future spouse and their likes. They may have a liking for particular gems and this may be a better choice for the engagement ring. Also there are colored diamonds which are often cheaper. This is also an option rather than an expensive white-diamond.

Lab-Grown Diamonds

If it absolutely has to be a diamond that is 100% conflict free and has a minimal effect on the environment we have a perfect lower cost option for you. Lab-grown diamonds are chemically and structurally identical to natural diamonds but are far less expensive because some people think of them as not being legitimate. Well they are classed as real diamonds and you would be hard pressed to know by looking at one that it was not a naturally mined gemstone.

These diamonds were not mined so they have no connections to the human rights and environmental damage that diamond mines are associated with. They are great for the very socially conscious and cost a fraction of the price.

Simply put, because they are considered less desirable to consumers, lab-grown diamonds are a lot cheaper when compared to the natural gems. A search of the James Allen Collection of diamonds both natural and man made illustrates this perfectly.

Looking for round cut diamonds of 1.01 carat in weight, completely colorless (D), internally flawless, with ideal cut quality showed some interesting prices. Natural diamonds ranged in price under these parameters from $10,780 - $19,600. James Allen only had three lab-grown diamonds to these specifications and not one of them cost more than $4,000.

So even the cheapest natural diamond when compared to a lab-grown gem of similar quality costs more than twice that of the man made option. Remember they are both very much real and the qualities are the same, the only difference is how they were made.

Final Thoughts

So what have we learned in this article? Well the diamond companies want you to think that spending less than 3 months of your salary on an engagement ring makes you a cheapskate. Hopefully though you have also learned that taking advice from people who literally profit from you taking that advice is at best suspect.

Spend what you can afford on your engagement ring but try to make it memorable and meaningful to the potential recipient. It is the thought and intent behind the ring that matters most; what it costs should not be the yardstick by which its emotional value is measured.

We wish you the best of luck finding the perfect engagement ring and hope your partner is bowled over by your choice. May you live very happily ever after.

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